kebencian

Hambatan terbesar gw saat ini adalah
untuk melawan semua keinginan semu gw dan meraih keinginan nyata gw yg ada di depan mata.

dan gw sangat membenci diri gw sendiri karena keadaan ini.
tidak hanya jiwa yg sakit,tapi juga raga.

gw gak mau mengecewakan mereka yang berharap banyak ke gw.
oh Tuhan Yesus bantu aku menghilangkan sikap jelekku.
sebelum semua terlambat,dan gw gak mau menyesal kemudian.

requesting apologize

hey i really sorry for a whole times i didn't post anything. a few days ago i had a mid test. i need to study everytime in home moreover i have to attend in my course "INTEN" three times a week.huff those was a very crowded schedule.but i don't know why it feels differents.i don't want to stop study even just for some minutes.i feel like had a big mistake if i stop it. i was under estimate of myself.i think that i just nothing between my friends which most of them was clever.i dream to be a doctor in the future.that dreams was pure fro my heart.but arround me there are a lots of people with genious brain have a similar dream like me.i ever doubting myself, but after thinking twice i believe god had prepare me to be a leader since i born.
=)

foto-foto

beberapa foto ret ret yg ok Bangaatz
bener-bener ret ret yang gak akan terlupa.
berkat Tuhan Yesusku.=)

ret ret oh ret ret

terakhir kali gw ret ret di sekolahku tercinta akhirnya.
tapi emang benar2 berkesan.
gw salut sama panitia tahun ini.
apa yang gw dapet selama disana?
banyak sekali.
awalnya yg kita dateng dengan pribadi kita yg lama.
gak kehitung dosa yg kita perbuat.
hingga disana kita tersadar bahwa kita adalah anak-anak terpilih.
seperti yang "ka viktor" bilang di session 1.
dosa ibarat baju.
hidup yang kita jalani memiliki pilihan.
apakah kita mau menjadi manusia lama yg mengenakan baju lama atau dosa.
atau apakah kita mau mengenakan baju baru yg "made in Jesus Christ".
pasti kita semua mau yg kualitas bagus dong yah.dan kualitas bagus pastinya mahal bgd.
tp lihat apa yg Tuhan lakukan,dia memberi pakaian buatannya itu dengan cuma-cuma.
oh sungguh indahnya hidup gw karena hal itu.
=)
session ke 4,yg dipimpin "ka james" juga sangat berkesan.
kuasa Tuhan kerasa bgd waktu itu.
semua nya nangis minta ampun kyk udh bener2 ketemu Tuhan.
tak terkecuali gw.
gw dan teman2 lain sudah mendapat visi2 yg menakjubkan.
gw udah minta ampun dan gak mau seperti dulu lagi.
dan bangganya gw udah bisa berkata seperti ini sekarang:
DOSA MASA LALU KU SUDAH SELESAI.
AMIN.

karya tulis

Filosofi hidup

Sudah berapa lamakah kita didunia ini?
17 tahun
204 bulan
7500 hari atau lebih
Mungkin Jutaan menit dan detik
Tapi apakah yang sudah kita lakukan sepanjang itu
hanya menyenangkan diri
mementingkan ego
memenangkan hawa nafsu
tampaknya hanya dunia yang ada dibenak

hidup ini seperti rangkaian yang terpisah
kemudian kita kumpulkan kembali menjadi Satu
masa lalu yang hancur atau indah
cita dan asa di masa depan
orang-orang yang datang dan pergi dalam hidup kita
adalah pisahan-pisahan itu

sadarilah teman
kita tidak tahu kapan waktu kita berakhir
maka rangkailah kehidupan mu seindah mungkin
seindah rangkaian bunga yang disusun sedemikian rupa
sehingga harumnya menyadarkan sekitar kita
menyadarkan bahwa hidup kita patut dikenang
di akhir waktu nanti

berlibur ke bali

bali.

pada awalnya memang gw lagi pingin bgd ke Bali.

walaupun udah pernah kesana sebelumnya.

puji tuhan bokap gw setuju dan akhirnya tgl 26 kemarin gw dan keluarga berlibur ke Bali.

hanya singkat di Bali,tp gw bener2 menikmati.

menikmati gaya hidup disana.

berbelanja sepuas hati,dinner di resto mewah,tinggal di villa dengan kolam renang pribadi.jacuzzi.berjalan-jalan dan terus berjalan.senangnya gak bisa di ungkapin.
pengen bgd tinggal di pulau Indah ini.
=)

uncountable sins and dreams

suddenly i remember a few times a go.when i was born just several years.


how proud my mom and dad had a lil baby girl like me.they didn't think yet the consequences to have a daughter like me.the consequences if i can't make them proud in the future.i want to be a baby girl again.so i didn't need to had a contradiction with my parents when they didn't permit me to doing what i like,didn't need to disputing cause of lil mistaken i made,didn't need to study very hard cause they think i was a moron,didn't need to lie as i often do.what i have to do more?if i had work hard but always failed.failed to show them that i was briliant as my brother did.i have no skill to show off,i often got bad scores.i always ask to god in my foundly heart,give me a bright future god.i want to be a doctor.please grant my pray.amen.
in real,i love my parents so much.but hate feeling that i feel causes, when they demand me to much.moreover if what they want didn't happenned by me.
but,i consious that god hermit me not to be a spoiled girl.i must take an effort then HE will give me the answer.to be a DOCTOR is my dream.so my DREAM must be reached by ME not others and god will lead me to the right way.so the doubt in my heart must be killed by myself as soon as possible.
i asked myself to remember this word,i won't make them disappointed.

vacation during ied day

honestly,me and my family was christiany people.so it's not an obigation to participate in ied day,means we didn't need to go hometown.but,i had an uncle that muslems.so my father plan a vacation with my uncle's family in cisarua puncak.vacation began at 20th sept nite.we arrived there with bad condition,very tired and starving because the highway was crowd.
2nd day,in the morning me,my sist,my mom,and my aunties take many pictures in the villa then,wandering arround villa.and we found many interesting things,like
many vegetable trees
wave water from a mountain
children playground in other villa
that's so funny to taking picture of them.because all my family member was in the pink and cherish. but believes or not we are not take a bath yet at hat moment.ahaha
in the afternoon we go to taman safari..sounds like a child visiting that place but i really happy.giving carrot to some animals,capt several picts of lion,and enter ghost's house(one of the vehicle in taman safari).
third day, we go to out bond area,caled villa matahari.that place was crowded as usually.so we just have an opprtunity to try flying fox.then we walk across a river in that recreation area.in the night we bake some corns to be ate together.these are some picts of what i told.

2nd day morning
in this photo:mom,grany,aunty,sista and me


3rd day evening
in this photo:sista,cousin and me

i can't be patient to waiting for the next trip.BALI i'm coming.hope everything well.
have a nice vacation.